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24/06/2019
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David Hadley

 

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An Undulation of a Shadow's Edge by David Hadley

An Undulation of a Shadow's Edge

by David Hadley

Dark creatures writhe in the city's shadows, Claire has seen them and seen their hungry eyes watching her… and waiting.

Claire avoids the darkness and the shadows of the city's nights because she knows what lurks there.

That was until the night she saw Henry, standing in the darkest shadows watching her, wanting her as much as she wants him. But he is as unwilling to leave the dark as Claire is to enter it.

Will Claire save Henry before the shadows and darkness consume...

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Choosing Headgear for Penguins by David Hadley

Choosing Headgear for Penguins

by David Hadley

No doubt you have been wondering over the years about what is the most suitable hat for the various breeds of penguin: such as a deerstalker for the King penguins, or whether emperor penguins should wear a top hat.

Perhaps you have also wondered if Napoleon wore a basque under his uniform at the battle of Waterloo and the role that lingerie played in history.

Maybe you have long puzzled over the role of the Stilton cavalry in the English Cheese war.

Possibly you may have...

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Dance on Fire by David Hadley

Dance on Fire

by David Hadley

What do you do when sex and drugs and rock and roll are no longer enough? At one time, Transmission were probably the most famous rock band on the planet. Now, even as they approach their twenty-fifth anniversary they are still up there, one of the top ten bands of all time. However, each of the surviving members of the band feels something, somewhere, has gone wrong, and the rock and roll dream they used to believe in so much has become...

Grand Uncle Stagnant and the Summer of Love by David Hadley

Grand Uncle Stagnant and the Summer of Love

by David Hadley

Yet more outpourings and ejaculations from Norbert Trouser-Quandary's notably upstanding organ, featuring more tales of the doings and goings-on in that most delightfully perverted of England's rural villages: Little Frigging in the Wold.

This volume of tales from Little Frigging features the adventures of Grand Uncle Stagnant back in the summer of love where he hears about the concept of free love and – almost immediately –...

Hanging Around Until by David Hadley

Hanging Around Until

by David Hadley

'Education is hanging around until you've caught on' - Robert Frost.

Set during the mid-1980s, Hanging Around Until is the story of Paul Carr, who, at the age of 28, decides to become a mature student at a North-Eastern university in the hope that an education will help give a direction to his life. On arriving at the university Paul discovers he is to share a house with five other students. Two of those housemates – Alison and Julia, each in their own way – turn Paul's simple...

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Have a Go by David Hadley

Have a Go

by David Hadley

[Novella – 17, 500 words approx]

The day John Russell became a Have a Go Hero, for accidentally foiling an armed bank robbery, was the day his life changed forever, and all he'd wanted was a nice cup of tea.

How I Became the Fat Bloke and Other Stories by David Hadley

How I Became the Fat Bloke and Other Stories

by David Hadley

How I Became the Fat Bloke and Other Stories is a collection of 19 short stories by David Hadley, including – in the title story – how one man realises what he had become while his attention was elsewhere. Socks – you should always be careful about who you let buy your socks for you, just in case they remember and you don't. The Mystery of the Lupins – what happens when a woman wearing only a coat and carrying flowers turns up at your door. Barn - a nightmare that becomes a bit...

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In the Beginning by David Hadley

In the Beginning

by David Hadley

It's a God's life.

Albert Meadows, recently made redundant and tired of his disappointing life, is looking to make a new start and is desperate to find something worthwhile to fill his time.

So, what could be better than creating a brand new universe of his own, in his garden shed?

But, when he introduces intelligent life to his new universe, things don't turn out as he planned.

Juggling Balls by David Hadley

Juggling Balls

by David Hadley

Martin Laws hates secrets.Β 

So why has someone sent him a strange gift?Β 

Why has he no memory of buying a new computer?

Why has that new computer decided Martin needs to go shopping?

Why does a hairstylist he's never met before keep saluting him?

Most of all, why are so many Elvis impersonators trying to kill him?

Little Frigging in the Wold by David Hadley

Little Frigging in the Wold

by David Hadley

Nestled deep in the picturesque valley at the heart of the county of Upper Thyghspreader, Little Frigging in the Wold is just another quiet English rural village. It is a place where the denizens take a quiet pride in the good standing of their local Inter-Village Orgy team, all pulling together to support it in the Inter-Village orgy League and cup as well as its attempts to increase the standing of English village orgy teams in the many European Competitions.

Not only that...

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Sex, Pies and Sticky Tape by David Hadley

Sex, Pies and Sticky Tape

by David Hadley

Here we are back, once again, in Little Frigging in the Wold: England's most perverse, erotic and excitingly-moist village, for some more tales of rural life, with more adventures and tales featuring Grand Uncle Stagnant, Old Feebletrousers, Strom Thighhammer, the cake shop manageress and many more of Little Frigging's residents.

This book includes over one hundred stories involving inter-village competitive orgies, the erotic use of foodstuffs, how to extract as much money from...

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Tales of the Unexpurgated by David Hadley

Tales of the Unexpurgated

by David Hadley

Tales of the Unexpurgated is a miscellany of inconsequence that tells you – quite possibly – more than you need to know about such subjects as: All-Nude Chicken Intriguing, Underwater Cookery, Naked Orienteering, Weasel Appreciation Day, How the SAS (Secret Accountancy Service) began, Worldwide Admire Your Own Genitals Day, Homing wasps, the sexual peccadillo, the latest in film, TV and celebrity culture, some of the latest scientific research including why weasels go pop and the...

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The Dirty Book by David Hadley

The Dirty Book

by David Hadley

When his book becomes a surprise hit, author Robert Block thinks all his problems are over… but they have only just begun.

Robert Block wants to be a famous and successful published author more than anything else in the world. But none of his books ever gets a publishing deal. Now, his wife, Rachel, is tired of supporting him. She gives him a year to make a success of being a writer, or he must go back to...

The River is an Endless Rope by David Hadley

The River is an Endless Rope

by David Hadley

All through this slipping of time / The river flows sedately onward, / An endless rope pulled by the sea. (The River is an Endless Rope)

This book is a new collection of over 180 poems by David Hadley.

David Hadley's poem have been published in several magazines in the UK and US.

Several of his poems have been cherry picked by the editors at ABCtales.com (http://www.abctales.com/node/512873).

He also has another earlier collection of poems: This Brief Life of...

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The Sexiest Elbows I'd Ever Seen by David Hadley

The Sexiest Elbows I'd Ever Seen

by David Hadley, David Hadley

When we first met she was Emeritus Professor of Post-Colonial Marmalade at the University of Ffestiniog, and she had the sexiest elbows I had ever seen. We met at the Annual Ffestiniog Tapioca-Ignoring Convention, back in the late summer of '83. At the time neither of us had a Tapioca-Ignoring partner, so naturally – once we found our handicaps were compatible – we teamed up for that autumn's preliminary Tapioca-Ignoring Cup rounds. Of course, with both of us being amateurs we never...

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The Theory of Car Parks by David Hadley

The Theory of Car Parks

by David Hadley

The title piece of this great new collection features an historical appreciation of the great car park theorist; Heinrich Von Rectangle, his life, work and tragic untimely end.

In over a hundred other essays, a wide variety of subjects of interest and fascination to the modern reader are also discussed, such as:

The latest the latest European Union Working Time Directives .and how they relate to the employment circumstances of the undead.

In science, the ramifications of...

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The Woman with the Golden Sex Spatula by David Hadley

The Woman with the Golden Sex Spatula

by David Hadley

Someone has stolen the most valuable erotic artefact in the British National Museum of Perversion: The Golden Sex Spatula.

The UK's Central Perversion Enforcement Directorate has no choice but to call in the directorate's leading investigators and experts in all that is rude and naughty: Norbert Trouser-Quandary and his wife Maureen, from the village of...

This Brief Life of Sparks by David Hadley

This Brief Life of Sparks

by David Hadley

A Collection of 100 poems by David Hadley.

David Hadley's poems have been published in Stand, Eclipse, Envoi, Poetry Nottingham International, Raw Edge and several other magazines in the UK and US.

Several of his poems have also been cherry-picked by the editors at abctales.com.

Twisting the Night Away by David Hadley

Twisting the Night Away

by David Hadley

What could be a better way of getting an ex-girlfriend back than a magic carpet ride through the night to a romantic evening together in some alternate dimension? That is, providing you can find something to do with the extraneous duck.

Tony Merling wants to get his girlfriend back any way he can, even if it means learning to fly a magic carpet without falling off.

What Dreams May Come by David Hadley

What Dreams May Come

by David Hadley

Dreams are dangerous things.

After a mental collapse forces him to sell his software company, entrepreneur Stephen Parker retreats to the quiet coastal village of Stoneyhaven, hoping to rebuild his life.

Soon Parker discovers how dangerous dreams can be, as the world of his nightmares threatens to break out into his waking life and destroy the new happiness he finds in Stoneyhaven.

The Wife's Best Friend by David  Hadley

The Wife's Best Friend

by David Hadley

(A short story – 3000 words approx.)

Frank didn't know he was a nudist, until he met his wife's best friend in the kitchen one morning.

For that matter, until then, his wife Jane didn't know she was also a nudist too.

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