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Darren Humphries is English and in his forties.

He is, therefore, a child of the Star Wars era with a corresponding love of science fiction brought about by repeated science fiction movie seasons on BBC2 and, of course, Doctor Who.

As well as being a TV and film science fiction addict since birth (apparently) he has been writing stories since he learned to write, possibly spurred on by placing in a national competition when he was about six years old.

In later years, he...

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I was feeling down

I knew the cause well enough; everyone else seemed to have little helpers perched on their shoulders to offer good advice. Well advice, anyway.

I had nothing, nobody, not even dandruff, on my shoulder.

In desperation, I turned to Oogrle (the supernatural search engine) and there it was – Designerimp.com.

They were pricey, though. A bit beyond my price range to be honest.

Except ... except.

A lucky bag! Pay a smaller price and take whatever pops out of the bag onto your shoulder.

Well, here goes. Press enter and it says ... Elephant ogre

Oh cra...

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