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The A to Z of Christmas

by Jonathan Hill
Originally published by on 24/12/2013

Aspirin - my head hurts

Broken baubles

Candy canes - teeth rot

Diarrhoea - too much junk

Elf and safety nightmare

Fairy light electrocution

Granddad’s asleep again

Holly - bugger, pricked my finger!

Icy footpaths

Jonathan’s crappy puns

Kindle needs recharging

Lame TV

Mulled wine - ugh!

Novelty socks

Oh god, those socks are really bad

Paperback from gran - already read it

Queen’s rabbiting on about something

Rushing round the shops

Sprout overload

Television that’s lame (it bears repeating)

Ugly snowmen

Virile snowmen (carrot’s in the wrong place)

What? He’s not real?

X-ray - damn icy footpaths

Yule log looks like a turd

Zzzzz after dinner

Jonathan Hill Merits

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