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Ian Clerehugh



Car Crash

It was inevitable that the two cars would eventually collide, with two hotheads in charge.

Both of them were fuming, shouting and bawling at each other.

"Look what you have done to my door!" yelled one.

"You should have seen me coming!" the other replied.

So it went on until soon both of them were red in the face. Neither of them would back down. Realising that this argument was going nowhere, they decided to ask a lady who had seen what had happened.

"Does it really matter?" said Mum. "They are only Dinky cars from the second-hand shop."

The Card Game

The game was all set for Saturday night, 4 of the meanest card sharps you ever did see were set to play for £50000.

One by one they strutted in to the saloon, leaving their guns with the bartender.

Overseeing the game was the local sheriff, who also dealt the cards to ensure no rigged deals. The onlookers were by now getting very excited and were placing bets with the local bookie.

The sheriff dealt 5 cards to each player.Jake was the first to play. He turned to Bill on his right and said to him "Please may I have Miss Bread the baker's daughter!"

What a goal

The ball came straight towards me and in one smooth movement I hit the ball with such force that it almost broke the goal netting, a spectacular even though I say it myself.

The crowd went mad and even the referee and players applauded me.

"That" said the commentator, "was something special that we are unlikely to see again, except of course on endless replays on Match of the Day."

Yes, I thought to myself, Gary Lineker himself would have been proud of it.

Sadly though it won't qualify for Goal of the Season as I was only the linesman.